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This is the guide is meant for women only. Lets face it, it is much more difficult for a woman to pee in the woods that it is for a man. Now that we have that out of the way, lets get right to it.
While there is no right or wrong answer to peeing in the woods, there are some practical guidelines that you can follow to make it easier for yourself. By having a little bit of common sense, you can make this seemingly contrived process just a walk in the park. Of course, you will not be in the park while doing this. You will more likely be behind a bush where nobody can see you!
Things You Will Need
Before you leave to go on your camping trip, pack a small bag of the following items:
- A headlamp or a flashlight: We do recommend a headlamp over a flashlight since this will allow you to be hands-free
- Toilet paper: This makes more sense than using a leaf for a branch which could irritate the skin and is not very comfortable
- Baby wipes: You will want to have baby wipes on hand just in case anything goes down your legs
- Plastic bag: In order to be environmentally friendly, you can dispose of the toilet paper in a plastic bag and bring it back with you to put it in the trash
- Funnel: You can purchase the final at any department store. This makes it far easier to not make a giant mess
Finding the Perfect Location
Finding the perfect location to pee in the woods can be tricky, especially when you are camping around other people. There have been horror stories of people peeing in the woods while strangers pull up the camp at their own sites right in front of the peeing location. Use your best judgement on this.
To find an appropriate location, follow the guidelines below:
- Let someone at the campsite now where you are going, if this is not too embarrassing. Some people have gotten lost while trying to find the perfect peeing location. Let them know in which general direction you will be going.
- Find a spot behind a bush or a tree.
- Preferably, make sure that you are standing on grass or soft soil. This will make it easier for the ground to absorb the liquid instead of flowing outwards.
- Try to find a spot where you are not facing downhill. This will ensure that the pee does not trickle down around your pants.
- Finally, make sure that no one is looking or is in the vicinity.
How to Pee
Now that you have found a spot and a secluded area, you can begin the process. Assuming that you have all of the items mentioned above, follow the step-by-step procedure below:
- Pull your pants down to your knees, but not down to your ankles. Pulling them down to your ankles will make it easier for the pee to flow towards your pants.
- Bend your knees until your bum is a couple of inches from the ground, and use one of your hands to hold yourself up.
- With your other hand, place the funnel underneath your crotch while pushing away the seat of your pants.
- Once you are confident that your pants are not in the way stream that will flow to the ground, proceed with peeing into the funnel.
- Once you are done, wipe yourself with the toilet paper. Also, use the baby wipes to wipe away any urine that may have ended up on your legs or hands.
- Use the baby wipes to wipe down the funnel, and place the lights and the toilet paper into the plastic bag.
There here you are; you have emptied your bladder and you are good to go.